Tom Regan. The Christian Science Monitor. Wednesday, May 17, 2000
I have a problem. It's my five year-old son, Liam. He doesn't want to return to the United States.
I'm not making this up. I've been living in Canada and commuting to the US for about two years, but changes in my job now require me to move our family back to Boston. Only Liam doesn't want to come with us. He wants to stay in Canada.
Here is the world through Liam's eyes: He lives in a seven-bedroom home in rural Nova Scotia, where he gets a playroom, a huge backyard, and lots of playmates in the neighborhood. In Boston, a much smaller three-bedroom apartment awaits, with no backyard and no friends (yet) in the neighborhood.
In Nova Scotia, Liam gets to play with his dog Pippi every day and sleep with her at night. But Pippi can't come with us to Boston, because we don't have the room and it's very hard to find apartments that allow dogs. Liam doesn't like this idea at all.
So Liam has told me several times that he won't move to Boston. When I tell him that means staying in Nova Scotia without me, his mom, or his two younger sisters whom he adores, he says he doesn't care because his can live with his nanny in Halifax, or with the family next door.
So what am I to do? Liam has dual Canadian-American citizenship. According to certain "experts" in the United States, my son has the right to choose his preferred country regardless what I want him to do. If he wants to stay in Canada, then he should have the right to stay in Canada,
particularly since he is already a Canadian citizen.
I'm sure you know where I'm going with this line of reasoning – the question of whether or not six-year-old Elian Gonzalez has the right to apply for asylum in the US, even if his father wants him to return to his home in Cuba.
As a parent, I'm very much in favor of giving your children, even young children, as much freedom as possible to make their own decisions. My three year-old daughter, for instance, hates the clothes I pick for her to wear, and every day asks if she can choose her own. I almost always let her do
so. This leads to some interesting fashion statements, but I know it helps her gain confidence in herself, even at such a young age. But there is a big difference between picking out a t-shirt to wear, and picking a country, and a set of relatives, to live with.
And while sometimes the parent's decision can appear on the surface to be a bad one -- like Liam trading Nova Scotia for Boston -- there are many positives that a six year-old would overlook. For instance, Boston has a zoo, great museums for children, the Red Sox, and better schools than Nova
Scotia. The same could be said of Cuba. It looks like a bad deal. But Elian's father knows his son will get a very good education in Cuba, which has the highest literacy rate in North America, not to mention being with his grandmothers, school friends, and living (contrary to the dire predictions of
the Cuban-exile community) a much more peaceful life --in terms of media attention -- than he would in the US.
And by the time Elian is a teenager and able to make his own decisions, Castro will be gone and relations between the US and Cuba will be much better, and Elian can come to the US, if he wishes.
So can we please have a little common sense, finally, in the Elian saga. Because six year-olds are just too young to make important decisions, whether their names are Elian or Liam.
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