Attachment theory: Expert says the Cuban boy will be fine with his father
Carol Milstone. National Post. Thursday, April 20, 2000
For psychologists who specialize in the intimate bonds between child and parent (called attachment theory), the story of six-year-old Elian Gonzalez is of particular interest. The National Post contacted Evergreen, Colo., psychologist and attachment expert Terry Levy, co-author of Attachment,
Trauma, and Healing: Understanding & Treating Attachment Disorder in Children and Families to explain the saga of Elian Gonzalez in terms of attachment theory.
Q. What exactly is attachment theory?
A. Attachment theory is a way of understanding the bonds between a child -- who is dependent and vulnerable -- and an intimate adult (usually a parent) who provides the child with protection, safety and security. This bond is the essence of attachment, and it can be broken through abuse, neglect
or abandonment.
Attachment theory began with John Bowlby in the 1940s, when he was commissioned by the World Health Organization to study the psychological effects of babies and children orphaned by the Second World War.
Q. What was the nature of Elian's attachments before the loss of his mother at sea?
A. From the reports I've read, Elian was securely attached to both of his parents. They lived within blocks of each other and were on amicable terms in sharing the custody of Elian.
Elian had his own bedroom at his father's house, and at times spent more time with his father than his mother. Elian was very involved with his father -- he would sleep at the father's house, sometimes in his father's bed. The reports, and interviews with Elian's father, indicate that Elian was
very significantly bonded, or attached, with his father.
Q. What happened to Elian in terms of emotional attachments after his mother's death?
A. What happened after his trauma at sea was that he comes to a new country, scared and alone, and in need of new attachments. Attachment theory says that Elian would bond with anyone who came to his rescue under such trauma. When the relatives took Elian in, they rescued him, protected him and
provided safety for him after a major loss. In essence, that's what attachment is really about. So by now, four months later, Elian has become emotionally bonded with the Miami relatives.
Q. What action should be taken now, in Elian's best interests?
A. If looked at from a foster-care perspective (viewing the Miami relatives as a foster family), then ideally the child would be given a two-week transition period, to transfer the emotional attachment from Elian's Miami family back to his father.
During these two weeks, Elian should be gradually increasing his time spent with his father and stepmother, while decreasing the time spent with the Miami relatives. During this time the Miami relatives should be giving Elian the message that his father is good, and that he will be meeting his
new attachment needs. Ideally, the two families -- both of whom Elian is bonded with -- should live together in the same neighbourhood, on friendly terms. Of course, that would be best for the child, but it's never going to happen.
Q. So are you pessimistic about Elian's future, in terms of his emotional attachment needs?
A. I am actually optimistic here for Elian, because I see two significant saving graces. Elian will eventually go back with his father, who I believe he has been securely and intimately attached with until last year. Over time, with a consistent, predictable, secure home environment in Cuba,
assuming that Elian returns to his old home and neighbourhood and school, Elian will forget about the media circus -- even the relatives -- that are now surrounding his life .
The other saving grace for Elian is that he had a really good start in life, from an attachment perspective. According to attachment theory, no matter how traumatic it is for a child to lose an attachment figure, if you had a good, secure attachment during the first two or three years of life,
you can survive traumatic loss. That's what Bowlby found with orphaned kids, as well as researchers after him, who followed kids for over 20 years.
I do believe, from the reports I've read and from what I've seen of the father, that the father is capable of doing a good job in rebuilding the emotional attachment between him and his son. I think that, with time, the kid's going to do OK.
Carol Milstone writes On the Couch, which appears Mondays in the Life section of the Post.
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