Joel Miller © 2001
WorldNetDaily.com. June 25, 2001
There are moments in each of our lives where time blurs into nothing. The
seconds could be days, minutes could be weeks it doesn't matter. A plump
tomato is in the air, and we are edge-sitting our seats to the point of
toppling, as we singularly focus our anticipation on seeing what kind of mess
it'll make when it succumbs to Newton's famous discovery.
One such moment for me was when Fidel Castro nearly fainted giving a speech
over the weekend. Up went the tomato.
I saw the headline posted at where else? WorldNetDaily as I
amiably strolled through my study on Saturday, coffee-in-hand, looking for my
copy of Gary North's "Marx's Religion of Revolution" an
appropriate choice for a weekend read, considering Fidel's revolution of Marx's
religion in Cuba.
Out of the corner of my eye, I could make it out on the screen: "Castro
appears to faint at podium."
I jumped to the computer, jostling my java. Excitement flushed in my veins.
I snatched the mouse and hammered the link.
Having a fairly slow connection, however, the time-slow thing happened. My
modem labored to prove Einstein's theory of relativity, making me sit there
endlessly with expectant jitters. Hopeful. On-edge. Oh-so eager that the
fussbudget busywhiskers had toppled and ended his career as the last ruling
evangelist of communist ideothuggery and proletariat puppetry.
I was of course disappointed when the story indicated that the geriatric
gasbag only listed and rebounded to the gasps and then cheers of his onlookers.
The tomato came down; it was hard and green. No big mess.
I sank back in my chair. My shoulders slumped. I was David: "For I
envied the arrogant when I saw the prosperity of the wicked. They have no
struggles; their bodies are healthy and strong" (Psalm 73:3-4).
How could an old goat like that decked out wrists-to-ankles in a
heavy army uniform and black boots that would strike a chord of jealousy in the
heart of any good Nazi survive Caribbean heat as oppressive as his
policies (by Fidel's count, another 665 folks required help from the heat before
him)? The only way I can figure it is that what's true of Kennedys is also true
of Castros the good die young (not that Jack and Robert were much better
than Teddy).
By evening, as reported by the Associated Press, Castro appeared "rested
and cheerful as he went back on live television this time from an air
conditioned broadcast studio. Those in the studio gave him a [predictable]
standing ovation."
"It is my fault,'' explained Castro about the fainting spell. "Collecting
facts, reading so many documents.
" Pity the poor socialist scholar,
studying into the wee hours about how to manipulate every facet of market
economics, social and political life in his ragtag country. Tyranny is tiring.
The best way to understand Castro's politics what he's up studying
for so late is to watch Woody Allen's "Bananas" while thumbing
through the "Communist Manifesto" and listening to a few "Rage
Against the Machine" albums. Put all that together and anyone would be
hopeful that the old man's boat would drag bottom sooner rather than later.
"I joked that it was a rehearsal," Castro told the studio
audience, "that I was playing dead to see what kind of burial they would
give me.''
While many of us are sad and dejected it was not the real thing, there is a
possible upside to Castro's impromptu lip-syncing of the Bee Gees' hit "Staying
Alive." At least one American city's infrastructure will benefit from
Castro's continued reign, according to Floridian cartoonist Tom White.
When talking about the to-dream-of demise of Cuba's long-lived dictator, Tom
said, "I don't know if Miami could survive the partying."
Joel Miller is the commentary editor of WorldNetDaily. His publishing
company, MenschWerks,recently published "God Gave Wine" by Kenneth L.
Gentry Jr.
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