CUBANET ... CUBANEWS

April 13, 2000



Far From Miami, Hall of Family Court Is Forum on Elián's Fate

By Matthew Purdy. The New York Time. April 13, 2000

HITE PLAINS, N.Y. -- A SK Yolanda Collins about the Elián González case and she gives a bitter laugh. "I'm going through something like that myself," she said.

No one is threatening to send her 10-month-old daughter to Cuba, but she worries about the girl's going to her father's house and being hurt by one of his pit bulls. "Fathers have their rights," she said. But then again, she continued, "you've got to keep a clear head about what's best for the child."

That struggle brought her to Family Court here the other day, sitting in a waiting room with other survivors of stressed and broken families, all fighting for what's best for the child, or at least their vision of it. "There's the adults and then there's the child and it's a tug of war," Ms. Collins said.

If the Elián González case were not playing out on the grand stage of international politics, it could easily take its place among anonymous, wrenching dramas unfolding daily in any family court in the country. The fate of Elián has become a celebrity calamity, a domestic tragedy that everyone with access to a television is privy to. But it echoes with personal force in the windowless waiting rooms in Westchester County's family court, where people see the themes of their own travails magnified in the fight over the Cuban boy.

"It's like the cases here," said Jamie Batson, 22, a day care worker and single mother of a 4-year-old boy. "The father won't take care of a kid until the mother's dead or locked up."

Just as Elián spent time with both parents, Ms. Batson's son is now seeing his father more often, she said. Even so, she said, the father's commitment is "not there 100 percent," and she would want her son to live with her parents, not his father, if she were to die. It's a mother's wish -- like Elián's mother's wish for her son to live in the United States -- and she hoped it would be honored.

Besides, she is suspicious of Elián's father. "If he didn't have a passion to take care of his son there, what's the drive now?" she asked. "The media? Being a hero for a day?"

Deconstructing motivations is no easier here than it is in Elián's case. "You hope everything you do is in the best interest of the child," said Lisa Gussack, awaiting a court date for a family matter, "but it can get very clouded."

In family court, opinions on what is right for Elián often reflect what people believe went wrong for them.

"I think he should go with his father," said Lisa Rojas, clutching an envelope of legal papers. "I'm fighting for my child. It's hard not having your children."

Across the beige waiting room decorated with a mural of children at play, Lillian Perez saw Elián's story in the context of her own move to the United States from Peru 30 years ago in search of opportunity.

"I think the boy should stay in America," she said, while waiting to plead her case for child support for her son in college. "If you're a father and you know your son can get a better life somewhere else with somebody else and you're fighting for him, then you're not a good father."

MARGIE APONTE imagined the pain Elián must feel. "He's being a rag doll, shoved here, shoved there," she said.

Ms. Aponte has a 7-year-old-son who lives with her but also spends time with his father when he wants to. She said listening to her son helped her figure out what was best for him in stressful situations. She wonders what Elián wants. Did he want to leave his father? Does he want his Miami relatives, or just the toys and attention? "What's running through his mind?" she asked. "What's he thinking?"

Ms. Aponte was in court with a friend, Victor Ruiz, who was pressing for visitation with his 7-year-old daughter. He misses his daughter, he said, and identifies with Elián's pain.

"I grew up without my dad all my life," said Mr. Ruiz, 25, a truck driver for a home hardware outlet. "I ask myself, where was he when I needed him? When I was playing football in high school, I wanted to be doing it for someone."

Mr. Ruiz said he was not an expert on Elián's case. But he is certain about a few things. "Whatever happened between the boy and his father," he said, "I'm sure he's looking for someone who loves him."

And if the noise around Elián died down, Mr. Ruiz said, he believes the boy would say simply, "I want my dad." That's what Mr. Ruiz hopes his daughter is saying.

Copyright 2000 The New York Times Company

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